I was caught unawares by Epilepsy when I was on the threshold of a very fulfilling experience of my life -motherhood. I had my first tonic-clonic attack while I was in labor during the birth of my first child in 1984. The stray attack was dismissed as a labour-associated convulsion and soon forgotten in the euphoria of rearing my first-born, a daughter. Four years passed by without even a trace of that episode. However, it resurfaced in 1988 when the stork visited me again. The second tonic-clonic attack came in the very initial months of my second pregnancy. Something was amis. But once again the attack was attributed to pregnancy and conveniently forgotten. Both my kids were growing up. Then, suddenly out of the blue again after 4 years i.e in 1992, I had my third tonic-clonic attack, at home when I was at once advised EEG and the diagnosis indicated that I was having an 'Abnormal E.E.G and Epilepsy'.

Now, the society expected me to be different though I did not feel any different. The prefix 'ab' had suddenly placed me in a separate category, medically. I had a new label. Nontheless, the sudden change imposed on my lifestyle had made me as vulnerable as any layperson. The routine of Anti-Epileptic Drugs (AEDs) demanded that I have a more disciplined life, which meant regular food, sleep and leisure. Initially, I used to be very drowsy, always wanting to sleep due to medication and I had to try very hard that it should not affect my work. I was quite curious to know more about my epilepsy but my near and dear ones (the ye withnesses), in their over protectiveness, were too sensitive and reluctant to speak about it just others were insensitive about the whole issue. Initially, I too reacted negatively but soon realized that it was only ignorance that made the reaction of most of those around me so inappropriate. And it made me more determined to know more about epilepsy.

Once I made up my mind to learn more about my condition and accepted the attitudes of people, the road to recovery was quick.

I had so many unanswered questions and wanted to meet other persons with epilepsy to find the answers. As luck would have it, my physician (Dr. Chaitanya Gulvady), handed me a small book on epilepsy, authored by Dr. Pravina Shah. It provided basic and vital information about epilepsy. Towards the end it mentioned a self-help group for persons with epilepsy. Little did I know then, that Dr. Shah and the group would become an integral part of my life.

I went to see Dr. Shah and was completely bowled over by her dedicated towards not just the physical well being of persons with epilepsy but also their psychological well-being. She introduced me to the self-held group SAMMAN. Their activities for creating epilepsy awareness interested me so much, that slowly but surely SAMMAM grew on me.

Looking back, I feel epilepsy has been a blessing in disguise. It gave me a new focus and provided me with a new purpose. I have a keen interest in classical music, drama and writing poetry. Cultivating these talents gave me great pleasure but mostly benefited me alone. Today, while working with epilepsy support group, I make use of these talents to train our members. We also use drama for our epilepsy awareness and cultural programs. It is a great outlet for emotional expression and creates a positive effect on both the audience and the performers.

Living with epilepsy has been easier for me than most others, seizures being just once every 4 years, onset being after marriage when I was settled in my family life. My secure job at the Reserve Bank of India further boosted my confidence. But still, it was not always been smooth sailing. There was a time when epilepsy created havoc with my family life. My second child showed signs of learning difficulty, which doctors felt, could have been caused by my second seizure whilst in the early months of pregnancy. Fortunately, I did not harbor any guilt. At the same time, I knew that I had to do something for my child. Taking a year's leave, I enrolled for a Bachelor's degree in Special Education to help my child cope with his difficulty. He was my first student. Together we gought, tooth and nail, to overcome our respective problems and emerged with flying colors.

With all these first hand experience, I knew 'where the shoe pinches', what the parents lacked and desired. Thus, http://www.childraise.com was born. This is a website basically aimed at empowering parents with.

(Resources, Awareness, Information, Support & Education)

for their special child. Currently, I am working on a Resource Guide "Journey To Empowerment" - A Roadmap for Special Children.

Today, being a facilitator of Samman, along with other team members and professionals, I stive hard to alleviate the traume experienced by epilepsy caregivers and to rehabilitate the person with epilepsy.

Source : Sharing Experiences of Epilepsy with You, Aug 28, 2004. Taiwan