I almost gave my parents an attack when I got my first seizure. So severe it was that the doctor declared me dead ; yet my father gave me mouth - to - mouth resuscitation and pumped my heart, over and over, till I revived. I was a year old.

At first seizures were limited to just 2-3 a year ( blank spells ), These gradually worsened, into complex partial and general tonic clonic seizures. During this time, I also started learning the violin. It was a proud moment for my family and me when I performed on television as part of an orchestra. I learned that along with my disability I also had special abilities and that I should focus on them.

I joined a reputed college and on the first day while traveling by train , I had a seizure.

I was at the doorway and my legs were dangerously dangling out. Just before entering the next station, I recovered in time to pull my legs in. There was enormous pressure on my parents, to take me our of college but my mother stood firm. She simply aksed if I wanted to continue with that college and I answered in the affirmative. I learned that I had choices and what I wanted was important not only to me but also my family. Each day as I leave home, mom asks God to look after me. And God has looked after me. People have always been there to help me when needed. I am convinced I have angels.

I played hockey for my college. Not out of compassion was I chosen for the team, it was my quick reflexes ( my 7 medals prove that ! ). During an inter-college final I had a seizure : I ran around the ground swinging the hockey stick at the referee. Everyone, except the referee, knew that was happening and kept away ; while the team members and I continued the game once I recovered. I learnt to laugh at my self ; if others laughed too it was perfectly okay.

After college, my first job was in Oman as a storekeeper. I was happy to be independent. One day, in the middle of a seizure, I picked around 25 steel pipes, each 6meters long and 2 inches in diameter. During a seizure I invariably develop the strength of mythical Samson. It took four men to help me out down the pipes after the seizure subsided. At that time, I smoked 40 cigarettes a day till one day I decided to give it up. I learned that I had strength both physical & mental.

After four years on the job, I started getting migraine attacks, which lasted up to three days. After investigation, the company doctor informed that I had some calcification in the brain. I returned to Mumbai for treatment. After treatment I started working at Worli. One day on my return home I had a seizure. The next thing I was aware of was being brutally beaten by some men outside a restaurant, who took me for drunkard. On reaching home, I phoned the restaurant owner and informed that I had broken a lock with my bare hands and then went to lift a waiter who was handing cash to a customer, not a drunk, but suffered from fits. He told me , had he know, or had I have some identification stating this, he would have treated me differently. I learned , since them to wear a bracelet, which states that I have fists and gives my name, address and phone number. This has saved my plenty. It has also helped to educate many people on epilepsy, as reading it they invariably ask.

I the decided to insert an appeal in the Mid-Day to form an association for persons with epilepsy. Dr E P Barucha and Dr Pravina Shah replied inviting me for the next meeting of the IEA. I observed that while much was being done with regard to diagnosis, treatment and research , the psychological effects of epilepsy were given no importance. The next year ( 1991 ) we informed SAMMAN, the epilepsy support group. Being with this group till today, I leanred that persons with epilepsy could help each other enormously. I have been Vice President of the Bombay Chapter for 6 years and currently am a member of the General Committee.

In October 1995, I married Elizabeth. It made no difference to her that I had seizures. We have two healthy and happy daughters who perfectly understand their dad. My family is my strength and support. I have learned that epilepsy suffers no barriers.

During my peak I used to have up to 15 seizures a week, but thanks to a new drug introduced in 2001, these have come down significantly. I have also make it a routine to rise early ( 5 am ) and go for a long walk as well as sleep early ( 10 pm ) and practice yoga 3 times a week. All this has brought down my seizures to 2-3 a month. I have learned never to give up hope.

As you can imagine life, for me , has not been easy. It has been one of constant struggle and hardwork. Getting and sustaining employment has been most difficult. I have been asked to leave a company because " I was an embarrassment to them". At one time my neurologist asked me to give up my job as my seizures were going way out of control. I did no but still wanted t retain my independence. My wife and I started making ready- to eat and ready to cook products at home, which we sold. I also went into direct marketing and became a distributor for Medicare products. When my seizures stabilized I started looking for a job again. Since January 2001, I have been working with Vantage Advertising Pvt Ltd, as a sales executive. I even won the ' Star of the Month ' national award in August 2002. However the stress of meeting targets took a toll on my health, business relations as they realized I had good communication skills. In addition to direct marketing, I have started selling insurance. For one month, after work, I attended training for insurance agents and passed with 80%.

Looking back at the last 43 years of my life I feel overwhelmed. Never would I have imagined I'd come this far, against all odds . It took a long time for me to accept myself but once I did, the right solutions evolved. I learned that acceptance of one`s situation solves 90% of the problem.

Many times, over the years, I have asked the Lord " Why me ? ". Today I can almost hear him say, " Ignatius, who could have done better jog ? "

Source : Sharing Experiences Epilepsy with You, Bangkok, 2004